Welcome to another edition of the blog. This week’s edition may leave you scratching your head in disbelief, leaving you only to ponder; if only I hadn’t opened up my e-mail and wasted yet again, another nine minutes of my life maybe I could’ve made something of my day. Well, don’t fret folks; the pictures below sort of speak for themselves and are symbolic of what many dedicated readers are experiencing from reading. I think you’ll be amazed by the splendorous transition shown here.
Joey after reading Depths of Debauchery Blog
I think the before and after pictures speak for themselves. And now to the write up...
WHY is it that every time a celebrity dies, regardless of the cause of death, they always have cocaine in their system?
“We lost a great actor today, and yes she did have cocaine, muscle relaxers, and Opium in her system –
Chancey McGuilicutty is in the field with this breaking news…”
“Thanks Rick- Adina Swenson most notably known for her work in the movie Fluffy Elephants passed away Tuesday afternoon. She was ejected from a speeding dune buggy, landed in a pool of rabid alligators, got out, and then after stepping on a land mine was thrown into an uninhabited cave where she spent the last four months alone, without access to the outside world. An autopsy did confirm, however, she coincidentally did have Cocaine in her system, despite all medical theories which have proven cocaine clears the system in just several days.”
WHENEVER I try to update software on my Iphone, ITunes spits back, “An Unknown Error Has Occurred.” Listen Steve Jobs; if you don’t know what the error is how do you figure I can trouble shoot this blanket error statement? You created an IPod the size of a peanut with a touch screen, but yet, you can’t throw me some sort of IT bone here, so I at least know where to start? Alright let’s see here, let me start with the power button – yep that works. Space bar? Check. Six-hundred and fifty-two hours later...ok, the L key seems to be working. Stay focused… ok next possibility…
THIS weekend I'll be heading up to Lake Tahoe and like usual I checked the weather report since there were reports of snow. Chance of snow on the report? 100%. 100%? Seriously? The Donner Party was only facing a 90% chance of snow and they ending up eating one another - you're telling me there isn't a speck of doubt that it isn't going to snow? Man these meteorologists are getting cocky...
WHAT kind of drugs do you have to be on to read these encrypted letters at the end of like a ticket purchase to prevent mass scalping. It will say:
‘You’re almost done! Just enter the phrase below within the next 12 seconds to complete your order’
The box will be a phrase using letters never previously combined anywhere in the English language like pedi kat gurustermeir Johnson xasderanyx. Then as if that’s not enough it’s in 3-D or blurred out by psychedelic colors, rendering it completely unreadable. Luckily they do give you an option to change the letters to something else, usually which is less readable that the first one. What algorithm-solving ticket thieves ruined it for the rest of the population that we have to endure this torture when buying Backstreet Boys tickets?