Thursday, May 3, 2012

Book Sequels That Never Made It: Part Two

Continued from yesterday... Book Sequels that never made it...

nope, just not doing it for me

The Girl with the Squirrel Tattoo – Few have even heard of this novel, but before The Girl Who Played with Fire, and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest followed up The Girl With The Dragon Tatoo, there was this botched sequel. It didn’t take long for publishers to realize that squirrels, despite their propensity to spread bubonic plague, weren’t as menacing as they thought. They also make weak tattoos. 

The StationaryThe Notebook was a tearjerker that broke the hearts of many, but the follow up to this love story was nowhere close to the original. No one at CVS could be reached for comment after the flop hit bookstores, but rumor has it corporate knew all along that notebooks are far and away the preferred choice in their paper aisle. In addition, where the prequel focused more on the main character’s journey of love together, this follow up focused on nothing more than a spiral bounded stationary.

Gone with the Breeze – We should’ve seen this coming. It was hard enough as it was to believe that any human would disappear simply with a gust of wind, so a breeze seems even more unlikely. Writers underestimated incredulous readers and their cockiness got the best of them here. Before putting this to print, they tossed around the idea of Gone with the Tornado or We think they’re gone, but they might just be missing with the Cyclone, but opted for the gentler version of moving air. Bad call. 

Even though he could make a mean
omelet, his breakfast never caught on

Breakfast at Mauricio’s – Let face it, no one wants to eat breakfast at a sleazy, hairy-chested, sweaty brutes house in the morning. Tiffany graced us all at our breakfast tables, stealing our hearts in the process, but Mauricio became the poster slob for anyone trying to lose weight by starving themselves. Once you read this book you’ll be ninety times more likely to skip a morning meal. 

Minimal Expectations – I think the initial approach here was to hit the market of people who look at the world half empty but they failed miserably when they realize most of those people don’t read. Good Expectations did a little bit better but that is only because it was written as a European, risqué, trashy sex novel where the women expected very little from their male counterparts. Both failed to duplicate the historical classic, Great Expectations.

You can read all the blogs at: 

No comments: