Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Full Games :This time we're playing with a full stomach...




Papa?
Just when you thought it was safe to open up your email and these blogs were done; like that they return. And like the child who showed up on your doorstep wearing a sombrero and a t-shirt that says Cancun Spring Break 2006, they won’t be going away. 


The Hunger games was finally released in theaters, but I’ll be honest, I’m not even that hungry for them. My Mom always told me not to play games on an empty stomach so I went ahead and ate. It’s not my fault these other participants weren’t fortunate to have a Mom concerned about their nutritional intake. 


Despite immediately sniffing each other’s rears at every chance they get, I still feel it's important for most dogs to maintain a reputation socially. When they see another dog heading in their direction with one of those huge collars on their neck that prevents them from chewing off their own fur, it probably goes something like this:

Dog #1’s mind without plastic collar: Oh god here is another one, ok don’t look at him, don’t look at him, stop looking at him, what are you doing, oh son of a dog bone, I can’t stop looking he looks ridicule-

Dog #2: Look away, look away, I’m hideous, oh god, please look awa-

Dog #1: “Oh hi Rex, how are the bitch and pups?”

Dog #2: (sheepishly) "Great, good, well, see ya"

Dog #1: That was awkward
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So Apple came out with its new iPad this month. Despite everyone already having an iPhone, iPod, iPad, and whatever else, can we justifiably say that Apple can literally come out with any product at this point and slap an i in front of it and make millions? They could literally sell an Apple.

“So what is this product here?”

“That is my apple I brought in for my lunch”

“Wow that sounds great, I will take it. How much?”

Apple releases its long awaited new
product; an apple. 
“Sir that is literally an apple.”

“Sounds great. $200 it is.  I’ll take your iTUNA, and iBANANA too, unless you think there will be a software update on them anytime soon.”

“There will be?”

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll take them.” 


And why is it that the iTunes disclosures are longer than the one you have to sign when you go sky diving? Since you have to download a new version every fifteen days anyway, is it necessary to have 32 pages of disclosures? Is a flesh eating virus going to pop out of my laptop once I download and they feel the need to legally protect themselves from such an apocalyptic abomination? Jesus, I’ll just go bungee jumping over crocodile infested waters instead of downloading new software; probably a whole lot safer.

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We get it, you're a big deal
Why is it that a Mahi Mahi feels so self righteous that it thinks it deserves two names? What other sea creature is so vain that in needs to be said twice? You don’t see a Swordfish Swordfish, Salmon Salmon, or Scallop Scallop on sale at the market so what makes Mahi Mahi so special?  I’ll be honest, I’m sick of its attitude. 

You can read all the blogs at http://stevemcdevitt.blogspot.com/

1 comment:

BLT said...

Not a long one but just enough to keep the audience satisfied until next time. Thanks for sharing bud